Evaluating Intercultural Behaviour

Before I entered NUS, I was holding a temporary job in a charity organisation. One day, I was told that Tom, who is of a French nationality, would be flying down to Singapore to do some voluntary work with us.

Tom stayed with us for about two months. Throughout the two months, I hardly talked to him (because I was very shy). Thankfully, the rest of my colleagues could entertain him or else we would have appeared to be very unhospitable hosts. The only times when I was involved in his conversations would probably be during lunch, where the whole office would usually go for together.

Somehow, the conversation during lunch one day led up to the topic on whether we usually finish the food on our plates. One of the staffs was sharing that as Chinese, we are taught to finish the food on our plates. Although I am brought up in a similar environment where I am taught to finish my food because it comes from hard-earned money and should not be wasted, I am not sure how accurate my colleague's statement is when it is generalised as part of the Chinese culture. With regards to this, I  did a Google search. One of the websites indicates that finishing all the food on your plate is considered rude because it shows that insufficient food was served to you and that you want more. However, another website, which contains information on Chinese dining etiquette, mentions that there is no strict rules about finishing all the food on your plate. Hence, I am not exactly sure which accruately describes Chinese culture.

Back to the conversation with my colleagues, Tom shared that in France, people will leave some of their food behind to indicate that they enjoy their meal. To finish all their food would appear to be somewhat rude. I tried to do a Google search to get more extensive research on this. However, I could not get any search result. Instead, I discovered a website stating instructions on how to follow French table manners. It did not mention anything about finishing the food on your plate.

This short conversation made me more aware that different cultures will have different dining etiquettes. If I were to go over to France one day, I will need to take note of their cultural etiquettes and try my best to conform to them if I want to be considered as part of them. Even among my Chinese counterparts, we may have differing views over a particular cultural issue. In this case, it is whether or not finishing the food on our plates is considered rude. Hence, the safest thing to do is to understand your counterpart well, observe how she goes about managing her food and follow suit.

I guess the point I am trying to make is that there may be a certain set of cultural ettiquettes used to describe a certain culture, which we can easily do a Google search on to find out more. However, people will differ, and so will their opinions on their own cultural ettiquetes. Some people may not adhere so strictly to their set of cultural etiquettes while others may choose to do so. Thus, understanding your fellow counterpart, whom you will be establishing a long term partnership/relationship is also crucial in order to understand and adapt to his/her cultural behaviour.

On the point of understanding  your fellow counterpart, communication is neccessary in order to forge a personal bond and mutual understanding. If i were to continue to be so shy, both me and my counterparts will definitely feel very awkward, especially if either of us is in the foreign environment. Guess it is time for me to step out and be less shy!

Application Letter Critique

I am applying for an internship position in Inland Revenue Authority of Singapore. You may click to access their website.

I will be submitting my application letter and resume via email, as shown in the images below. I edited my personal details because I do not like to publicise them on the Internet. Click on the images to enlarge them :)

Application Letter

Resume Page 1

Resume Page 2

I will be glad to receive critiques! Thank you. :)

Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

This is an incident of a conflict I had with my younger brother. It happened over my acoustic guitar.

My brother approached me one day and asked to borrow my guitar for his jamming session the next day. I declined his request so he pleaded with me. I told him that I needed to consider first but he tried to force his way through so that I would agree. He was already showing signs of impatience and started talking to me very rudely. Hence, I got irritated and told him that I would not lend it to him. As a result, he got really angry and the whole situation at that moment turned pretty unpleasant.

I think we all know that this conflict could have well been avoided if I had agreed to lend him my guitar. The main reason why I decided not to then was because I do not trust him to handle it. Allow me to explain why.

Firstly, my brother is not exactly the most responsible person on Earth. For many years, he borrows my items such as my books, stationery and EZ-link card and fail to return them. In order for me to get them back, I have to hound him until he finally returns them. At times, my items come back in a condition worse than before. Occasionally, he loses what he has borrowed. When that happens, he either makes false promises to replace it for me, or he does not offer to do anything to make up for the loss at all. Either way, it annoys me because it shows that he is not trust-worthy and insincere in taking responsibility for his mistake. Having said that, if he fails to handle such small items, how can I trust him to handle my guitar, something which is so much more expensive and significant to me?

Secondly, my brother owns a classical guitar and an electric guitar. Hence, there is no need to borrow my guitar when he has been surviving pretty well on what he has. When the incident happened, I asked him why he needed my guitar so badly. He merely said that he felt like playing acoustic songs, hence the need for an acoustic guitar. To me, he could use his classical guitar if he wanted to. I felt that the only reason why he wanted to try out my guitar was because it was quite new at the point in time. Who does not like getting their hands on something so new? I understand that thrill completely. However, the mere thought of him wanting to get his hands on my guitar just because it was new gave me a bad feeling in my stomach. At that point, I even felt that he merely wanted to take advantage of what I had. I guess it boils down to the fact that I do not trust him at all. 

Thirdly, the fact that he thinks that trying to force his way by turning rude will get what he wants really annoys me to the core. Where is the basic respect for people? The way he acts resembles a spoilt child and our parents do not spoil us. This is also one of the reasons why i did not want to agree to his request. I felt that I would be affirming his spoilt and rude behaviour if I were to give in to him.

Going back to the incident, my brother stormed off eventually, much to my relief.

The situation was resolved when I decided to lend him my guitar.

My brother left my guitar in his school for a few days and I had to remind him everyday to bring it home. Despite that, I am thankful that it eventually made its way back to the arms of its owner, unscathed. However, the issue of me not being able to trust my brother remains till today. It does not feel nice and definitely has an adverse effect on my relationship with him. What do you think I can do to have better trust in him?

Effective Communication Skills

The art of communication is very alive in our daily lives, be it in a professional setting or in a casual environment with friends. Communication skills such as the use of eye contact, gestures, tone and active listening need not be limited to the scope of  professional communication. When we engage in our daily conversations with family and friends, we can also utilise such skills for effective communication.

Evidently, as introverted as some of us may be, communication is essential for our survival. Why not practise effective communication so that our lives will be happier? :)

I have broken down the importance of effective communication into two broad categories:

1. Effective Communication as a Tool for Learning
The best example I can use to illustrate this point is the interaction between teachers and students.

I have had many teachers who inspired my interest in learning. My Accounting lecturers during my Polytechnic days were very good teachers. They were interesting to listen to, could explain the concepts very clearly and best of all they built a rapport with us students. I enjoyed attending their lessons. It is through effective communication between my lecturers and us students that I had such a fulfilling learning experience. To be inspired to learn is the best thing that any student can have.

1. Effective Communication as a Tool to Connect
We have conversations with our friends and family to connect with one another and establish relationships. Effective communication is to find suitable topics that people are interested in so that we can build conversations and make the connection.

These are some of the common topics that I have used which helped me to connect with people and forge new friendships with them. 

Soccer

Photo Credit: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b9/Football_iu_1996.jpg/300px-Football_iu_1996.jpg

Soccer is immensely popular across all genders. I use this as a common topic when talking to my male friends very frequently. Among my female friends, many of them are soccer fans as well. Those who are not think that I am very knowledgeable about soccer and find me very entertaining. Truth is, they do not mind talking about hot men. :)

Box Office Hits

X-Men

Photo Credit: http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR_Dawvd3Kh_PFjbz5pVq3RHLzNWGShxUSmEHoSAVlIVht4JkHt

Transformers

Photo Credit: http://www.movie-holic.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/transformers-dark-of-the-moon.jpg

Harry Potter

Photo Credit: http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/7/2010/11/harry-potter-and-the-deathly-hallows-part-1-close-up-poster-1-10-10-kc.jpg

Everybody loves movies, don't we? Some of us just contribute to the profits of film distributors more than others. At the end of the day, we all know that box office hits like X-Men, Transformers and Harry Potter are not be missed out on. What an exciting conversation this can turn out to be! :)

You are the Apple of My Eye

Starring Ke Zhendong and Michelle Chen

Photo Credit: http://i883.photobucket.com/albums/ac35/hpility2u/Youaretheappleofmyeye05.jpg

You are the Apple of My Eye is one of the top grossing films in Singapore even though it did not feature any renowned stars. I decided to give this film a special mention because the storyline talks about romance in a very raw and real way. It is unlike other movies whereby watching the main characters fall in love gives you the "I-know-it-is-going-to-happen" feeling. The poignancy that this film presents tugs at the audience's hearts so much that I believe very personal conversations can be triggered by this film. We never know how such conversations will develop, but I do know that this movie open doors for people to make a special connection with one another. 

Have you watched it yet? Give it a shot if you have not. :)

Food

Buffalo Wings
Photo Credit: https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/374898_10150499819102710_502327709_8524111_499845386_n.jpg

Ice Cream
Photo Credit: https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/402647_10150486804449934_622349933_8942132_1615851296_n.jpg

From buffalo wings to ice cream, food is one of the best ways to establish connections. How can we not love food? The better the quality of our food is, the happier we are! The happier we are, the more we will cherish these times spent together! It is also in such an environment that we have the time and opportunity to engage ourselves in light-hearted conversations; for some of us it is the best time to engage in heart-to-heart conversations. Either way, food is something that really helps in bonding and connecting people. :)

Effective communication engages us in learning and connects us with people. Isn't this wonderful? This is how important effective communication is! :)